The past returns....

I just have one very simple things to say today.

I miss my old friends. :-(

Is there reason? Is there rhyme?

Why is it that all that I do never seems to make things better? I try and try to be a good person. To make other people happy as well as myself. But it seems that no matter what I do it always seems to go to shit. I seem to have found someone that makes me happy and makes me smile but because someone else has feeling for her that makes me a bad person. Even though I had no idea that this person had those sort of feeling for my person, I still get labeled the bad one. Still cast aside as if I have no value at all because of my feelings. And it seems the old adage is true. When it rains it pours. Not only am I getting treated bad by my “friends”, but my car just got broke all to hell for no apparent reason. So I cant drive now and none of my friends care if I'm alive or not. Only those who have truly liked who I am help me. So here I sit at my parents house picking up my dads truck so I can work. Thank goodness they care enough to help. Man when one thing goes wrong, all things go wrong. I don’t want to loose my friends over some stupid confusion and hurt feelings. And its at times like these that I hate the person that I’ve become. The old Billy didn’t have friends. The old Billy didn’t talk. And the old Billy didn’t get hurt. The Billy I’ve become now has friends and does talk and now the Billy I am gets hurt and hurts others. Is the new me really worth this? There is a strong temptation to just drop it all and leave. Quit Red Lobster, move out of the rabbit hole and stop talking to everyone I know. Maybe then the people I’ve touched will no longer hate me.

Here is a picture that I really like of Heather and me.